How to say goodbye to a blog?

Do I have to?

I think it deserves to have a cool closure.


0008 and I am barely sleepy. My braincells start to fire up at 2300 creating scenes from the past, present, and future.They make me cringe, laugh, sad, and overthink and it is becoming a habit of loop of constantly worrying, thinking, planning, questioning. My inquest for answers to a lot of questions during the night time bugs me. WHY DO I SUDDENLY GET CURIOUS AT NIGHT? Again, a loop of wikipedia, waiting for loading of webpages, another link, new idea, then back to the loop of overthinking.

This prolonged insomnia makes me diagnose myself as a very anxious person. It is quite smart to be anxious. The “unknown” is too vast to control. It is so fluid to trap in a box and pinpoint immediately the things to accomplish and conquer. IT REALLY MAKES SENSE.  hahah. even a vast number of religious and people with loads of EQ always tell to let go what you can’t control (such as the distant future and destiny hahah ). It is hard not to take over the buttons and drive myself to make it a better and superior.

Well what’s wrong with me is I dont take it on a daily/hourly basis. I plan til im tired then become a zombie the next day. No action=not that great for my anxiety. Again A LOOP… Insomnia-unproductivity loop weakens my immune system, memory, overall confidence and my entire GAMEPLAN huhu.

So see, now instead of having a proper goodbye t0 this blog made it like a RANT/ WHINE/ MELT DOWN of an overthinking insomniac who just want to have a bright happy future.

I extremely hope I’ll sleep before 3 am to pack up my stuff early in the morning!!





to balance wisdom and love, big words right there!!!

hi dear blog.

life just happend to me hence the pause. my work-life balance is non-existing. i just probably need a break because of my drabby optimism. Im going home next month and get married soon! oooh life will unfold soon. i need excitement in my life. can’t wait to hug my family and my fiance.



gwen just can’t wait.

pores, pores, pores

i have a secret…. I am VAIN haha but in a different way. I don’t like smothering my face with too much make up because i feel my face is so dirty after the day ends. it’s crazy how girls can stand not scratching their fully done (pak na pak) faces. When i accidentaly scratch, it leaves my nails grossly filled with products i slathered. maybe that’s why  girls who do their make ups often do their nails all the time!!! OMG oo nga! hahah

i also wanna scratch my eyes at times (don’t do this kids). i often forget whenever im wearing  mascara/ eye make up . at the end of my day,  i usually have an imbalanced eye make up (one eye looks like someone punched me/im half emo/im a half panda).

i am vain with my skin care though. i want to age gracefully. im scared/horrified of fine lines and wrinkles. i love my skin moisturized and soft and i love it as it is (morena-ish? i can’t explain my skin tone hehe). white/tisay look is so 90s and more and more Filipinas now are comfy with the skin they’re in (e.g Bianca Gonzales, Nadine Lustre (haha of course), the pbb kid Ylona Garcia). ThoughI don’t look good when Im too much toasted because I break out when my skin starts peeling (idk why) and I get uneven skin tone too(patchy and blotchy).

I dont really try to be tisay.

I got really shocked last time i went home to the Philippines because almost all of the girls appeared  white, with red lipstick, brown hair, and skinny thin. it’s like there’s a cookie cutter of “beauty” and they are all in the same batch of glutathione baking pan. hehe. well ok lang naman because it is their choice to be white and may benefits din naman yun gluta being an anti oxidant and all. i’m just against in too much change of skin tone because omg ang ganda kaya ng morena.

benefits of being morena:

  1. skin imperfections are hidden. redness is not a problem. your face looks radiant even after tanning and you will never caught to be blotchy and red.
  2. perpetually tan. no need to pay for having that color.
  3. not prone to skin cancers. melanin baybehhh.
  4. no sunspots when you age
  5. your legs looks gorgeous! veins are not that visible hehe
  6. isa kang kakaibabe. you’re unique especially abroad (i mean when you’re out of the philippines especially in EU).

gone were the days when you’re rich looking daw when you’re white. you’re rich looking when you’re makinis! hahaha kinis artista. i just want my skin sexy and smooth so ill share my recent purchases.

  1. i usually wash my face with jergens bar soap kasabay na ng ligo ko haha. i am lazy to wash my face before. i wake up with small zits when i forget to wash nga lang huhu. my skin regimen before was just plain water and soap and that’s it. after transfering here in Dubai, my skin problems showed up. My t-zone was uber oily and my cheeks and jawline were sahara dry. there i started having a regime. Tone-Moisturize-Serum and a newly added one… Mask. 😉
  2. Toner. i bought the Rare Earth Pore Refining toner by Khiel’ s because i just hate my big pores. I had a long time of soul searching slash connecting flight in HK airport last month and what else can I do but shop. haha. i promise you, Khiel’s products are  cheaper in HK compared to dubai. i forgot how much this is though but i just know it’s just way cheaper ( i remember checking my messages of purchases to compare the prices, thanks a lot emirates NBD for the text in every purchase i do; making me guilty all the time hehe. ) .  The after effect of the product is a clear and mattified face. it can be drying though so i usually need added moisturizer after. Rare_Earth_Pore_Refining_Tonic_3605975028836_8_4fl_oz_
  3. Moisturizer. My facial skin is combination type. in short, my face has bipolar.  i got skin flakes on my cheeks at times (it looks like a skin dandruff on my cheek, kadire!). my biggest skin problem are large the pores on my nose and cheeks huhu. our dermatologist in the Philippines said that pore sizes are hereditary. so i blame them on my homies. ahahha. any way, the Rare Earth Pore Refining moisturizer was a meh for me. because after a week of use, i had 2 cystic pimples on my nose and chin. idk if it’s because of:  not washing my face thoroughly before applying, my hormones, or because the product itself tightens pores and trapping some stuff inside it creating pimples! im giving it a chance again this week but i bought a back up– A new moisturizer again with spf. yehey!!!2367586
  4. Moisturizer #2. Khiel’s Ultra Facial Moisturizer. i just started using it today. it costs 100 aed which is not that bad because the bottle is quite big and it has SPF 30. cant say a lot much coz i’m a noob but lathering it on my face is fast and non-greasy and doesn’t feel too heavy.Ultra_Facial_Moisturizer_3700194712068_2_5fl_oz_
  5. Mask. i never used a clay type mask. i tried korean masks though but i cant stick on the regime because it’s time consuming and im lazy asf. however, because i sincerely hate my big pores and i want to minimize them before i turn 30, i gave in to the  Rare Earth Pore Refining mask. i just used it last night and cmon mamon, 100% effective! i felt it has a cooling effect right after applying, then as it becomes dry (approx 10 minutes), my face tightened a bit. i wiped it off with warm damp towel, and OMG it woooorked. ultra tiny pores, squeeky clean face, and super smooth. you can’t abuse it though coz the bottle shows that they recommend once or twice a week of use. i dont really know what will happen if you use it daily. but im not gonna be delinquent on that one. prolly it will dry the skin too much? hmm. the bottle is big for 130 aed.Rare_Earth_Pore_Cleansing_Masque_3605975038132_5_0fl_oz_6.Serums. i never knew about serums until i came to dubai.ive used Caudalie serum from sephora. it has Vitamin C and it has a lot of antioxidants that can delay signs of ageing. i finished it and i think that i’m having a resistance on its effects and i wanted change. i switched to  Khiel’s midnight recovery concentrate  few weeks back. the blue glass bottle looks classic and the dropper works well.  it can be oily (coz it’s an oil to begin with haha)  at the start but once you spread it all over it dries up a little and you will feel moisturized. hahaha omg again! this one is hyper effective. your face will just glow after waking up. it’s like a bottle of goodnight sleep. (correct me if im wrong if this one is not a serum or something, but i think it is e )Midnight_Recovery_Concentrate_3605975053920_1_0fl_oz_


overall, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and you got to have a heart of gold too. However,  a good heart wont make you an artista HEHEHEH. (kakainis yun joke ko).

pics from Khiel’s. (not payed to do this though huhu)




birthday madness.

29 na ako. official late twenties. omg now lang naging official ang pagiging late 20s ko kung kelan last na last na ng roaring 20s ang age ko. so here is my birthday post 🙂


  1. July 25, 2016  6am, my friend from the States came to Dubai together with her boyfriend. We booked in Bab Al Yam for a breakfast buffet. It is a restaurant in Burj Al Arab so we had the chance to enter a  7 star hotel! Within is like a palace full of delightful pieces in every nook and cranny. My eyes were popping out everywhere because everything  in the hotel is just so shiny, sparkly clean, and omg so intricate.  Hotel staff were very polite but extremely mindful to everyone. No queue, no throngs, no noise. Ultra serene and exclusive.DSCF0497DSCF0492DSCF0490DSCF0495DSCF049813918881_10154120940480379_1432396676_o13898265_10154120935850379_800765313_o13898318_10154120939585379_803978345_o
  2. July 25 1030 am- we visited Dubai Mall. My friend Jill and her bf Mike shopped and had an Arabic photoshoot in one of the stores in the mall. We had no time to go to the At The Top of Burj Khalifa because their flight is at 1500. they had to go back to the airport by 1300.DSCF0522DSCF0517DSCF0514DSCF0508
  3.  July 25 1300- lunch in “Parkers” in Dubai. it is a popular restaurant in dubai with an “exclusive” feels in it. many locals love the place because of that feature. search on it more because you need a “key” to dine in there. kakaloka. not your typical restaurant im telling you. (p.s thanks miss myrle for the treat)13902014_10154120941030379_683847502_o13838115_10154120942145379_1703442793_o13918923_10154120941180379_2113038386_o13682379_10154120942105379_1489387724_o13682503_10154120940880379_1358229024_o13902228_10154120941970379_236874484_o13686748_10153971092848702_2635985094207356476_n
  4. July 25 1400-ish we checked in Tamani Hotel in Dubai Marina. it is a 2 door hotel apartment facing the tram so it is hyper over sized and hyper accessible. we were in the 41st floor so the view was so nice! After some time, we swam until sundown. we were in our robes most of the time. there were 2 bath tubs so we dipped in a hot bubble bath saraps! (ty again miss myrle for the treat takte ang tindi na ng marks of utang na loob ko haha)
  5. July 25 0800 We went to Pier 7 Fume Restaurant. It is a restaurant with the bar inside. they serve alcohol so I ordered a cocktail. I ate pasta, myrle tried handpulled beef burger and hahah sanirae tried a lamb pie. i just cant tolerate the taste of the lamb. maybe our palate was not accustomed on the flavor. it tasted different. i just cant… myrle ordered a big ass milk chocolate drink and she was sooo happy about it. i tasted it and yeah chocolate milk heaven. (thanks again myrle ahlabshoo magkaka boyprend ka na talaga ng perpektong nilalang this 2017)13275190_10154120932985379_1331102193_o13681869_10154120934220379_805163181_o13682540_10154120937470379_996171369_o6.July 25 1030 – We went to Media City and had an 85 aed worth of whole body spa. pede na pede na. soothing!!!13918945_10154120940360379_38282995_o7.July 26 0000 MY BIRTHDAAAY! we just had a quiet moment of harutan looking out of the windows while waiting for my birthday… I wished and i silently prayed. after sometime we had an ultimate tita moment. we watched the SONA of President Duterte hahah.13898738_10154120939610379_1743005654_o13901770_10154120938965379_1411398206_o13901666_10154120940190379_1217168129_o8.July 26 1330 Breakfast then Check out from Tamani Hotel then crashed Patricia’s hotel in The Rove Hotel near Dubai Mall. Every corner was instagrammable. Great marketing team!13663630_10154120933870379_516372320_o13901700_10154120939235379_1071026474_o13898240_10154120933115379_1810329341_o13902186_10154120939700379_1363686904_o
    Crashed in  The Rove hotel


    9.July 26 1700 Swimming time! we swam in the open pool and what’s cool was that the hotel was giving free coolers. yum yum and it was a great thirst quencher13902054_10154120940020379_1658761134_o13682525_10154120937515379_1117120212_o.10.July 26 2000 We ate in the Royal Orchid Restaurant in Downtown. Noodles for my birthday. Im so Asian by the way.DSCF0582DSCF0586DSCF0581DSCF0585DSCF059011. July 26 2130-ish wow a surprise buko!!! hihi had a cool time blowing my Buko Cake.

    12.July 27 0600 sani and i needed to leave the hotel because of sani’s morning shift. Officially. My birthday was over 😦

old but i’m happy 🙂